tonight i got in to a stupid thing with ryan. it wasn't a fight or even an argument. i don't know what it was. he and i were chatting on msn and he referred to me as his girlfriend. and i asked him when i became his gf. i thought that you were supposed to be notified or something when you move up in status? so i decided to call him and the whole thing became blown out of preportion.
he was being really presumptious when he called me his gf. at least i thought so anyways. and then it became really confusing in the sense where i was saying ya well i'd like to be your gf. if we can still go really slow. and he was saying lets not label it.
what do you mean lets not label it? didn't you just call me your girlfriend? um... that's a label..... right?
so here we are not knowing what we are. confused, getting frustrated and it's really awkward now.
so i after the long awkward silence i had to get off the phone. it was way too uncomfortable at that point. he calls me his gf. i tell him i didn't know i was his gf, but ya i'd like to be. then he says we don't need a label? what the heck is going on? i'm so out of the loop at this point it's not even funny.
i think that my problem is that a few months ago i was in a really bad relationship. and for 7 years i didn't know where i stood. and so now that i am starting a relationship; with a guy that is NOT the p.o.s. that my ex is, i have this crazy out of control feeling. and i NEED to know where i stand so that i feel like i have control again. i think it is pretty justifiable.
it' s not like i freaked on the guy. i simply said to him "i'm your girlfriend?" and he back peddled so frickin fast it wasn't funny.
so after i got off the phone with i tried to figure out whether or not i was his gf. i still didn't know what was going on. then he called me, i ignored the phone bcuz i didn't really want to talk to him at that point. i had just put myself on the line and said yes, i do want to be your girlfriend. and he backed out. i felt like a dummy.
a while later when i was checking my email i saw that after he couldn't get a hold of me on my phone he decided to email me.
the email said "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to get all stressed and react that way. i really like you and i feel really bad. let's just take it slow and do what ever is natural." sincerly, ryan."
well then. am i dumb? i STILL don't know where i stand. am i his girlfriend or are we just dating?