last week i wrote about the email from ryan that wasnt' a real email but instead a link to a contest. and how i replied with me saying to him in an email that i was choked that he hasnt' called me but sent me a link to a contest and that i thought he was really inconsiderate.
well then 2 days ago i got another email from him saying that his dad was in an accident and he had been realy busy. at the end of his email he said please do not respond.
i couldn't let it go and i felt like i had to say some thing back to him because i was confused and i was hurt that he was just letting go like that, so easily. so i emailed him back saying something to the effect of; "ya i know you told me not to bother but i just wanted to say that i am sorry that your dad was hurt at work, and i hope he is ok. also i just wanted to say to you that i know that what ever is going on in your life you don't care to share with me. that's fine i understand. but i want to tell you that i am really glad that i found out what an inconsiderate ass.... that you are now rather than later. i won't email you back."
wow.
THEN i got another email from him saying that he was sorry. he said that when he had come over he saw how beautiful me and my kids were and he had screwed up every other relationship he had in the past and he just didnt want to hurt us. he said that he just didn't want to hurt anyone and he thought it would be better to just get it over with now. then again he said i'm sorry.
wow even more. of course i gave in and replied back to him. all i said was "what hurts me the most is the fact that you didn't call. and if he doesnt' want to be in a realtionship with me then he needs to be telling me. not just leaving me hanging like that.
so now i am waiting to see if he responds. i don't know what the next move is. i guess it is in his court now. and i will again just have to wait and see. i dont' know how to take it. is he a self - sabatoger? is he scared of commitment? i just dont' know.
what i want to know is why is he scared of hurting me? does he think that i am looking for a daddy for my kids? because i am not. does he really have some strong feelings for me? adn he is scared that i have kids and he just thought it would be better if he lets me/us go now rather than failing at this relationship?
i dont' know. i do know that you can't jsut leave someone hanging like that not knowing what is going on. that is not fair.
well that is all i have to say for now. i'm sure i will be back with more dating drama.
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